Where did time go?

So today, begins Birthday Season.  My oldest turns 23. Twenty Three,  veintitrés, as in 1992 was 23 years ago.  Wait... what? didn't I just bring him home from the hospital?  I occasionally like to read other Dad blogs, and today I read a post on one blog where he said he looked at his kid and thought "Holy crap! I'm his Dad" "I'm this kid's Dad!"  I have been a parent now for 23 years and I still look at my 4 boys and think.  Sonofabitch!  I am a Dad!  What was God thinking letting me do this?  

I have had my moments where I feel like a failure, other times when I feel like I am THE World's Best Father and all you other fathers can kiss my ass, and there are the times in between when I am just Dad and do the best i can with what I have.  My kids love me regardless (although my 18 year old's intentions are questionable sometimes, but that is a whole 'nother post).

Teenagers! Grrrrr

     There is a quote out there that says "Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young".  As the parent to 4 boys, 2 of which are teenagers.  I know this feeling well, except I am a Dad.  None of my kids have ever tested me the way my 18 year old has been testing me.  Actually I should say "us", us being me and my ex-wife.  In his defense, he is the emotional one, and he took the divorce the hardest.  BUT, it's been 4 years...as a matter of fact,  4 years ago yesterday that we announced to our kids we were divorcing.   The last three days it has been a lot of yelling on my part, a lot of frustration on my ex-wife, who calls or texts me.  It is hard to parent from 90 miles away on the phone and via text and e-mail.  But I somehow manage to get results,  they know that when I say "If you don't do ABC, I will do XYZ", I WILL X, Y and Z.  I love my boys, more than anyone can imagine.  A good parent knows the love that only a parent can give their kids.  Even when they push our buttons, and we scream and yell, yet, through all that,  we love them.  They don't see it, and one day they will understand what it is like to be a parent.  As I have told them many times before "I am first and foremost a Dad, nothing you do or say will change that nor will it change how much I love you.  My job is to protect you and teach you to survive in the real world.  Secondly, I am your best friend,  you can tell me anything,  you can ask me anything"   3 out of 4 of my kids get it,  but my 18 year old, wants to challenge me.  One day he will get it, and until then... I am Dad...hear me roar. 

       So this morning, after an 8:00am scolding (My yelling this morning produced enough energy to boil a cauldron), I decided to go on a walk.  So off to the Dry Creek Trail I went and took a nice 1 hour, 5K walk.  The cool air felt good and I got some much needed exercise.  

Who? What? When

Welcome to my world.  My world of few words.  But first the basics about me...

Who:  My name is Gabe.  I have once described myself as Father, Son, Boyfriend, Friend, Buddy, Pal, Chum, overall nice guy. I am a simple man really.  
Father:  I am the proud father of 4 amazing young men;  Andrew (1992), Adrian (1994), Anthony (1996) and Austin (1998).  They drive me nuts,  they have taken me through every emotion possible, from laughter to sadness to raging anger, but they wouldn't be kids of they didn't, right?

Son:  I am my father's 9th child of 11.  I am my mother's only child (more on that in a future post).  I had a steady, although emotionally distant, relationship with my father.  It was this relationship that made me the man that I am,  the father I am and the husband I tried to be. 

Boyfriend: As of today, I am the proud boyfriend of an amazing man.  27 months and counting. 

Friend, Buddy, Pal and Chum:  This is self explanatory.  I have many friends.  It takes a lot for one of my friends to be removed from the friendship circle. I have only removed one friend from my life, a choice I later came to regret. One of my best friend is still my ex-wife, again that is a future post.  

What: What to expect to see here?  Me, my life, my likes, my dislikes, my fears, my hopes, my joys, my pains.  Some of it will be funny, some of it will be shocking, some of it may even be inappropriate and even offend some of you (rarely, but just letting you know now).  

When: Whenever the mood strikes me.  It may be daily,  it may be weekly.  

In a nut shell this is your introduction to me.  I hope you will come back to learn more about me,  see what makes me smile,  what makes me tick.